5 Warrior Hearts

My days used to be ebenflow. Waking up and taking on a new day was adventurous to me. The thought of a whole month or week or certain day was not ever lurking in the back of my mind. Unless of course I had something exciting planned. I looked forward to those days.  But I get it now. I get the feeling of dread and emotional turmoil when certain days trigger a void that leaves you weak and vulnerable. The pain that filled my heart 3 years ago when I lost my sweet Momma can't be erased or faded. The countless amazing memories bring joy and tears of happiness, but the reminder that comes on these days whispers something else;  she's not here.  One of those days it screams loud and clear is Mother's Day. Year after Year. "Don't you have kids?" Some might ask. "Celebrate the gift of them." Yes, I am in no way wanting to diminish the blessing of getting the privilege to be a mom. I pray for God's grace on these hard days and take in as much of th...

February 20. The thought of it, and certainly when someone says it, gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Days come and go, but this date every year haunts me like an overwhelming ache. In my heart I know looking back is not productive, and looking too far ahead leads to anxiety. But, bring me closer to this day whether before or after and I'm sunk. I want to run and be way past it so the memories will not be as near. A part of me left 3 years ago on this day. A piece of my very being is gone and will Not ever return. My Momma of 55 left this earth to go to the next and until I meet with her again, there will be the remains of a scarred soul and a body that feels it lost a vital part.

Well, for the last several months I have felt this nudge to write more and it's just been tough to actually get started. I mean I could go through a list of why's but honestly I just need to make it happen. My life is and has been an adventure to say the least. Even if I am the only one to read this I'd like to record these stories. The stories of how we are woven together and God has a way of circling everything around for His glory. We all have them! Stories. And thank the Lord there are people willing to tell them. I mean, this is how I learn. Hearing of how others have failed, been knocked down, chosen life, tasted victory, been on the verge of destruction, and found joy. All of us are here on earth and have our own path. We learn from each other and yet our stories are different. I am so very thankful for all of the people that have been placed in my life, some only for a season, that speak into the fact that this life is messy and hard. Without friendships and the j...