5 Warrior Hearts

My days used to be ebenflow. Waking up and taking on a new day was adventurous to me. The thought of a whole month or week or certain day was not ever lurking in the back of my mind. Unless of course I had something exciting planned. I looked forward to those days.  But I get it now. I get the feeling of dread and emotional turmoil when certain days trigger a void that leaves you weak and vulnerable. The pain that filled my heart 3 years ago when I lost my sweet Momma can't be erased or faded. The countless amazing memories bring joy and tears of happiness, but the reminder that comes on these days whispers something else;  she's not here.  One of those days it screams loud and clear is Mother's Day. Year after Year. "Don't you have kids?" Some might ask. "Celebrate the gift of them." Yes, I am in no way wanting to diminish the blessing of getting the privilege to be a mom. I pray for God's grace on these hard days and take in as much of th

February 20. The thought of it, and certainly when someone says it, gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Days come and go, but this date every year haunts me like an overwhelming ache. In my heart I know looking back is not productive, and looking too far ahead leads to anxiety. But, bring me closer to this day whether before or after and I'm sunk. I want to run and be way past it so the memories will not be as near. A part of me left 3 years ago on this day. A piece of my very being is gone and will Not ever return. My Momma of 55 left this earth to go to the next and until I meet with her again, there will be the remains of a scarred soul and a body that feels it lost a vital part.