“Finally got my girl…”

 “Finally got my girl,” the man said as he picked up the very well loved and used Ninja Turtle PowerWheel car from our driveway this morning. What was supposed to be a quick exchange of money and goods turned into a a full blown conversation. One sided of course. Ha! We will come back to this story. 

I’m really beginning to wonder if I have a look about me. A look that says, “tell me whatever you’d like, ask no questions about my life, and then be on your merry way.” You see, I had already had two run ins with other men at the grocery store this week. Isn’t that enough??? By the way, there’s no significance of them being men… it happens with women as well. One man came up to me while I was looking at the delicious baked goods trying to decide what would be the best option for a fun dessert at home. Did I mention I was by myself. No children… No spending extra money because they ask for about 20 more things than I normally buy….just quiet alone shopping time. I’m not bitter though. So anyway, this man proceeds to tell me he’s not creepy just wants to collect smiles. Ugh! Then, he asks repeatedly if I knew I’d go to Heaven when I died. Ok, this might be offensive to some. Christians, please don’t ever ask this question to a complete stranger. Be their friend first. Have a relationship and really care about someone. 

Let’s move on. Second man in the grocery store… same trip. I was about done shopping and I had roughly 10 minutes to get checked out and out the door in order to pick up son #2 from his camp.  I was quickly walking down the frozen food isle grabbing whatever easy lunch and breakfast items I thought the boys could make for themselves in the week ahead. Then, I hear a voice behind me saying something about salmon. Upon turning around, I discovered he was talking to me. He was asking if I thought the salmon would be ok on his car ride home. “Call the salmon temperature expert!” I yelled back at him. Just kidding. I lied and said, “I would think so.” Much better right?! Thinking our conversation was done was such a mistake on my part. Salmon was just this guys way of getting my attention and determining to trap me right by the open door of the frozen food I was reaching for a couple more items before heading out. In hopes to avoid any vomiting while reading this post, I’ll save you the long details of what man #2 thought he needed to tell me that day. Let’s just say, politics and healthcare. Why????!!!!

Ok finally, the moment you’ve been waiting for. He got his girl. This was the comment of the man this morning who bought the power wheel from us. After telling me all about his search for one just like this, asking for a discount because it’s his birthday, telling me about the concert he’s going to, step by step going through the directions google maps gave him in order to get here, and talking about his tattoos, he begins to (finally) walk off with the item bought. Saying thank you and taking in a deep breath I figured he would be on his way so I turned to go back in the garage. “Wait!” I hear from the driveway. The sweet man wanted more of my time. He wanted to show me pictures of his kids. Ok. I can fake a smile for a bit longer I thought. His boys, 1 and 4, well they are great, but he really “needed” a daddy’s girl. Puke in my mouth. What did he just say to me?!? He finally got his girl, he said. He loves his boys, but he needed a girl. Some of you who know me, know that my face doesn’t really hide my feelings and my emotions are right there on my sleeve. I can’t tell you what it looked like, but I know my closest friends can picture it. 

You might think I’m being cynical and judge mental. Maybe I am. I’ll let the Holy Spirit convict me. But, for this moment I believe I am discovering more about myself and learning more about how some of the world might think. As you can imagine, having 5 boys just merits a lot of comments from on lookers. It’s confusing, and they expect me to have all the answers for why. 

There was a time of grief after realizing a daughter was not going to be part of my life, I’m not going to lie. But, then there was a time to follow of deep awakening. Awakening to the fact that maybe this is my calling. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this in posts before, but perhaps I take these things personally because my eyes have been opened to how boys are seen. In school, at church, in families, to their own parents! Girls are princesses and boys are rough, wild, and disturbing. This is very general, so calm down if you’re offended. My point is, maybe we are part of the problem. Maybe we love our boys, but really cherish our girls. I can already see how differently this little girl (who I am sure is precious) will be treated compared to her brothers. I’m not talking about the differences in treatment based on gender and emotional needs. I’m talking about the emotional needs this girl (without knowing) is feeding her adult father’s ego that the boys will never be able to fill! One day they’ll notice that they aren’t the “sweet” ones. They aren’t and can’t be “her” in their fathers eyes. They’re just his boys…

Also, can I please get a sticker to put on my forehead? Maybe it could say, “I am not your soundboard…please keep moving”.